Originally posted by Kraufen.
Alright, I'm gonna set a few things straight here, this is basically my first review ever, so more than likely, it will be rather horrid. Anyways, if I can manage to improve on my reviewing skills then I will write some more, generally about either horror films or old cartoons.
And then onward with my review.
Also any links to this episode will be found right here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_ZwpHu2HIEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3cap2pQKE4&feature=related___
Now, I have always been a fan of anything sort of cheesy or so bad that its good, and well transformers generation 1 is in this category for me. Honestly yes it probably is and always will be the only solidly good series for the transformers but it honestly has no many hilarious moments in it, wether it be logical fallacies, or just straight up bad drawing.
And then there is this, just why?!Sure, I guess its old and I should understand that people thought differently when it came out, but you would think that such horrible pornography would have been illegal then to.
Lately though I have just been watching the series on Teletoon Retro on my breaks from work, I have honestly nothing better to do and transformers is honestly better than whatever drivel is on any other channel the tv gets. (MTV, and the like). Its honestly Transformers or Two and a half men and the like, which is not for me.
One day mind you I came across this episode in particular, I got in about halfway through it and was rather surprised at what I saw. Just to jog my memory I watched it again to make sure I was not wrong and that I was not imagining things, which me and one of my other friends honestly thought we might have been.
The episode starts out with that dreadful season 3 opening which I hate (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etP6LXrA37o Really why would anyone make this the opening to anything!? ) which sort of makes me not want to watch the episode, only due to that even if I know its actually a good one.
The actual episode opens up with a building exploding, on what I think is earth I honestly don't have a clue since by season 3, the autobots are on different planets rather than earth all the time and it gets extremely confusing.
The Autobots are busy saving these people who fall from the building, saving them from gruesome deaths (Remember, in old cartoons no one ever dies. No one unless they are not human, and even then, aliens and robots still somehow live). At the same time however, there are these really sketchy looking guys trying to steal "
Newtronium" from the docks. Yes Newtronium. I did not spell that wrong, this is what its called in the episode.
The Autobots catch them while they are in the act. These guys sounds like typical mafioso'd or something, though they do not look the part. They shoot puny lazers at Rodimus and Ultramgnus (Which Rodimus is afraid of, even though they practically bounce off of them.) and the guys shooting at them, when cornered just casually ask "Whadda ya want wid us?" which in itself is funny. Forgot to mention hidden guy number 4 (Also known as Dutch, the ringleader), Rodimus picks up this tiny canister and dutch surprises him and shoots it. Newtronium is incredibly explosive according Ultramagnus and it really is, exploding once shot in a surprisingly large manner knocking both Autobots into the water and the budguys drive away in their hover car.
According to the news, the attack was orchestrated as some sort of terrorist attack in order to steal the Newtronium. Mr. Drask(I think its that, whenever his name is mentioned, its hard to understand it) and his minions argue about how their customer will not be pleased and blah blah blah all boring crap lets get to the good parts already. The only good part of it is "Your gonna ice dem robots?".
Mr. Drask and Dutch go looking for somebody named "Old Snake" (Hint Hint, Nudge Nuge) in the fucking woods for some reason. They ask two guys, assumingly the cronies of this snake fella for his whereabouts, and pay them by beating them down once they have said info. Gee, these guys are huge dicks. They find "Old Snake and ask for his help with his old organizations technologies named synthoids which assumedly will be used on the autobots, it transfers minds to synthetic bodies and "Old Snake agrees to help". Also "Old Snake looks like cobra commander dressed as some sort of private detective or something.
I am Cobra Commander, I mean Old Snake!Drask has his cronies build this large machine for the purpose. Snake thinks the only thing its missing are "victims". They send a anonymous tip the to Autobots, who fall for it. They are also considered police where they are..and qoute the name of the episode, it gets better and better. The autobots stupidly run into the glass dome like room that captures them, and they have their minds transferred over into what appear to be blobs at first but then become human bodies. Drask wants to destroy their bodies, but "Old Snake" critiques his imagination and has him turn the bodies into the most powerful weapons evar!!111!!! According to him anyways.
They try to destroy the autobots by putting them into a junk disposer but the now human Autobots manage to escape of course. They are apperently clothed in white for some reason, and can break fucking steel door open for some reason, where they find some clothes that just so happen to match their original robot clolor schemes. Drask is informed, who is surprisingly not pissed off. The Autobots split up and one group and they try to fix themselves up almost getting caught in the process.
Meanwhile, Old Snake shows off his new transformers which are pretty much driven like cars, with men inside. Oooh, so original. At the same time human Rodimus is cornered but saved by a fake lesbian that was there earlier. She finds him good looking and probably wants to fuck. The green autobot(forgot his name really, I remember he is a helicopter though) walks around town, is bothered by a street pastor and just throws all the dudes papers on the ground. He sees the Autobot bodies being test driven to while he is being a dick to religious nuts and they use them to do some jewlery heists and he "dupes" ( Not sure if you can really dupe retards) them by saying he works on heavy machiney and sneaks into his own body.
The other two find a warehouse filled with weapons Drask is selling. And they also set off a trap, notifying Drask that they are there, and get attacked by well themselves. Ultramagnus manages to scare the robots away with a grenade though, but is caught by Dutch on the roof. How does he hide so easily all the time. Rodimus has breakfast with that woman he was with, assumingly having sex with her to, of course they would never show this, but it had to happen seeing as she is willing to help him get into her employers house.
Arcee tries to go see the rest of the Autobots but just manages to look like a crazy dingbat pretending to be a robot. Turns out the nice lady helping Rodimus also had set a trap, why she even saved him to begin with is beyond me if she is gonna pull this shit. Apperently they let him live for now, to let him watch them destroy metroplex, by using the Autobot bodies to bring bombs into it. Luckily The green autobot (Still don't know his name, I should have looked it up before doing this was there as he had snuck in before, and got his body "Back" persay, he is shot however, but does not seem to crash.
Drasks cronies let go of Rodimus for really no particular reason, and he goes on a berzerker rampage, kicking almost everyones ass. (Cept cobra commander who just sort of stands there.) Alright, so the green Autobot ( His name is springer, just found that out) manages to repair himself and attacks metroplex due to the fact that attacking the other fakes would be suicide, deeming that getting the fortress to go defence mode woyuld have to do,and it works, defeating not only himself but all the other fakes to, and they are retuned to their bodies.
All the villains are arrested except for Old snake, who mutters at the end of the episode about terrorists not being what they used to, and coughs as he tries to scream COOOOOBBBRAAAA as he walks into the sunset.
cooooobraaaa!!! cough coughAnyways, thats the episode right there, filled with some of the most messed up shit ever in the show.
And that concludes my review, its probably pretty bad and Ill have to work on it a bit, but hope you enjoyed it.
